Katie Shell

Essential Journeying

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The Necessity of Selfcare & Sovereignty in Relationships

June 29, 2022

A lesson of the recent Cancer new moon came almost instantaneously for me. The Cancer new moon is all about self-care and self-nurturing. It invites us to take care of ourselves in the ways we need to and reminds us that although others can support and hold space for us we are responsible for understanding our needs and ensuring they are met. The time and inner work necessary to understand those ever evolving needs requires dedication to our personal growth. We need to frequently check in with the cues from our body to see what we need right now. Learning about our personal cycles of growth and rest play a huge role in recognizing when the time for rest comes. We can only do this from a place of complete self-awareness. Creating time and space to sink into the body and listen to it's cues telling us to breathe, to rest, to isolate, to move, or to connect. As we establish this awareness, we then must speak up and work constantly and unapologetically to make sure we get it.

In relationship we must trust that the other person is going to do this for themselves. There may be disappointment, hurt, or pain when another person takes this for themselves. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. We can feel that and have complete respect and gratitude that the person is doing what they need to take care of themselves. Then we know with much greater clarity that when they do show-up there is no baggage, no resentment, and we can truly be there and present for each other. This trust and honesty is core to all types of relationships. And it begins and ends with complete unconditional self-love and unapologetic selfcare and self-awareness.